


Parting Gift

by R_squared



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Branding, Fallen Angels, First Kiss, Hunting, M/M, Pining, Pre-Apocalypse, Protective Lucifer, Sigils, Trust Issues, Vampires, anti-possession
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2016-11-28
Packaged: 2018-09-02 19:32:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8680636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/R_squared/pseuds/R_squared
Summary: After meeting his true vessel Lucifer discovers that there may be more to human kind than he expected but when Sam won't listen to his words Lucifer has to find another way to show him that he no longer wants to bring on the apocalypse.





	

A chill ran down Sams spine, dancing intricate, electric patterns across his skin as he jolted awake. The questionable motel wall slowly came back into focus as he blinked the sleepy haze from his eyes. Sam immediately knew he wasn’t alone, he could sense all too clearly the immense force in the room with him as soon as he had been dragged back to consciousness. 

He was never alone anymore, Lucifers presence constantly lingered over him in the distance, always slightly out of Sams grasp. It had been that way ever since he and Dean cracked open the box and let the Devil loose on the world. At first it terrified Sam, thinking that Lucifer was watching, lurking in the shadows, waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike and claim his prize. Sam spent those early days in constant fear that at any moment Lucifer might appear and snap the necks of anyone unfortunate enough to be in the room.  
Sam was sure that as time passed the fierce grasp Lucifer had on him would become easier to manage. That it would slowly fade out to nothing more than background noise in his subconscious.

But when did anything ever go to plan for the Winchesters?

As the days ticked by Sam came to realise that being enveloped by the angel didn’t feel like pain and destruction as he thought it would,  
It felt like home.  
He denied it for weeks because having the Devil as a backseat driver to your life couldn’t possibly be as safe as it made him feel. His grace surrounded every inch of Sams being, possessive yet gentle, without question or demand. Sam has never felt so connected and as wrong as he knew it was he didn’t want to let go of that feeling because for the first time, he finally belonged.

He was still confused though. When had Satan stopped demanding that he wanted to wear him to the prom? And why?  
Before tonight Sam had only seen Lucifer on four occasions since he was freed, six months ago and at no point since their first meeting had Lucifer so much as mentioned the impending end of the world.  
Instead when they met, he listened. Listened as if every word that tumbled from Sams lips could unlock the secrets of the universe that the archangels absent father had left them to figure out.  
Sam took comfort in those conversations and quickly found himself sharing some of his deepest, darkest fears and secrets with the content angel.

He’s not an idiot though, contrary to his brothers beliefs. This is Lucifer for fucks sake, the evil to trump all evils. He knew this must all be a trap, he must be luring him into a false sense of security before the kill. Sams brain was constantly yelling at him to get as far away as possible, just like it was now.  
But Sam just wasn’t listening.

The realisation of how far into Lucifers web Sam had truly fallen crashed into him with the force of a stampede, peeling away the security he had built around himself. He had to stop justifying Satans actions and start listening to his head. He can’t let his guard down anymore than he already has if he wants to keep breathing. This has to end. Now.

Sam sat upright in an instant, pushing himself away from the creaky headboard as he whipped his head around to where he already knew Lucifer would be waiting.

Lucifer was perched on a seat under the window at the edge of the room. He stared purposefully out the window, unaffected by Sams sudden reaction.  
“Hello Sam.” His deep, velvet voice lingered in the air causing Sam to let out a small, contented sigh at the sound.  
_Fuck. Focus Sam. Focus._  
Lucifer gracefully raised a hand into his eye line, twisting and testing it back and forth. He gazed out at it like it was the first time he had ever witnessed such a creation. His skin reflected, almost transparent in the moonlight.  
Maybe that was why he had decided to show himself tonight Sam thought. His time in Nicks vessel was running out. Maybe tonight Sam would learn his true intentions. Maybe tonight was the night they lose.  
Sam swung his legs off the edge of the bed, quickly standing and crossing the room to the table in front of Lucifer. His pulse quickened as his heart forced as much blood to his extremities as possible, the primal urge of fight or flight taking over. His body was begging him to hightail it out of there and not look back until he was safely back with his brother.  
He continued to ignore the sensation as he pulled the pile of books and papers off the small table and placed them sloppily on the nearby counter.  
Lucifer watched on with subtle intrigue and amusement at Sams half conscious actions.  
Sam dropped into the chair and they sat in silence for a long moment.  
“Where’s Dean tonight?” Lucifer finally questioned, glancing around the room, observing for the first time that they were in fact, alone.

“The bar.” Sam responded flatly.

“Hm.” He nodded, unsurprised.

“Your vessel looks like it could split any second.” Sam said with far more concern than he intended. Shifting awkwardly in his chair he cleared his throat as he waited for Lucifer to continue.

“Yes, there’s a chance that it may.”

“So I guess you’re here to try and convince me to say yes. Let you put me on for the apocalypse, right?” Sam accused, spitting the words out with as much venom as he could muster.  
Shock flashed across Lucifers face briefly, but there was something else too and for just a moment, it looked like pain.  
A heavy ball of guilt tightened sharply in Sams chest, making it hard to breath as he scrambled to compose himself. He’s taken aback by the intense disgust swimming around in his head at the thought of causing Lucifer any form of pain.  
Lucifer dropped his eyes to the small table in front of him, unable to continue their eye contact as he continued. “Sam, I’ve told you bef-”

“Yeah, I heard you. You’ll have to excuse me if I don’t believe that you’ve just changed your mind out of the goodness of your heart.” Sams fist tightened on the table, his skin bleached white against the strain. “Fuck Lucifer, the first time we met you were pretty insistent on the whole “we’re bound for all eternity” crap and now you’re telling me, what? I’m not your true vessel? I’m not good enough?” The unintentional bitterness in Sams voice pierced the space between them, causing them both to reel in their places.

Sam can’t help but question himself now, why is he so mad? He should be jumping for goddamn joy not the be the archangels outfit of choice for the end of the world. He really has to get his thoughts and tone under control, he can’t let Lucifer get to him.  
It’s the Devil and Sam just wants him to leave him the fuck alone.  
At least, that’s what he has to convince himself.

“You know that’s not true Sam. If anything, you’re too good for me.” Lucifers icy blue eyes were locked so intensely onto Sam, piercing right through to his soul. “We will always be bound, I will always protect you, I will always be with you but I’ve come to realise that perhaps my father never meant for me to take you over as my vessel. I think he intended a different fate for us.”

Sam let out a frustrated sigh at Lucifers cryptic statement. “Yeah, like what?”

Lucifer paused, choosing his words carefully. “We’re broken creatures you and I. We’ve both spent our existence looking in from the outside, punished for not quite fitting the mold others have tried to cast us into. Our story is the same Sam, mine has just been played out over many millennia, twisting me into something I could never have imagined.” He recoiled, shame crossing his face, he dropped his head briefly as he gathered his thoughts. “I believe we’ve been brought together to understand and ease each others suffering. I think my father meant for us to catch each other as we fall.” Lucifers voice lowered to not much more than a whisper as he finished, “So that we don’t have to crash into the unknown completely blind and alone anymore.” 

Sam nodded, wishing that he didn’t agree so wholeheartedly. Lucifers words felt like the last pieces in a puzzle that Sam had long forgotten he was trying to finish. As he thought back on the last few months he realised that ever since he began living in the embrace of Lucifers grace he felt like he could breath for the first time. He could finally plant his feet and stand without the constant fear that he might stumble and fall into the abyss at any given moment. He finally felt at peace with himself, he felt complete.

Sam sifted through his thoughts in silence, distracted from the large hand snaking across the table towards him.  
The sensation of Lucifers hand encasing his own snapped him back to reality. He glanced down to find Lucifers thumb stroking gently along the back of his fist, tiny static shocks traversed his skin wherever they made contact.  
Gradually he allowed Lucifers movements to ease the tension in his muscles, letting out a long, deep sigh as he unfurled his fist.

“How can I trust you? I have nothing but your word to go on.” Sam sighed.

“And that’s not enough?” Lucifer questioned uncertainly.

“No that’s not enough Luce!”  
_Luce._ That’s new.  
Lucifer raised an eyebrow but sensing Sams discomfort decided not to push his new nickname.

“If you can change your mind this drastically then I can’t trust your word! Action is all that matters. You could be saying whatever you want to my face but then leave here and go burn a whole city to the ground! How am I supposed to know you’re not still gearing up for the apocalypse when I’m not around?!” Sam snatched his hand away, suddenly realising how dangerously low he had allowed his guard to fall.  
Lucifer retrieved his hand slowly and shuffled back in his chair, trying to give Sam the space he clearly needed. Physical space couldn’t mean all that much to a celestial being but Sam was glad to have it all the same.

“I don’t want to hurt you Sam and I’ve come to understand that you would find the destruction of humankind.. Distressing.”

“Yeah Luce, I would.” Sam rolled his eyes.

“Then it is the last thing in this world that I wish for.” Lucifer finished sincerely.

Silence fell over the two, deafening the room. Sam kept his eyes fixed down on the warped vinyl covered table as he bounced his leg agitatedly against the floor. He tried desperately not to give over to Lucifer's words, clinging to every last ounce of fear and anger he once felt. He could feel Lucifer's fierce stare fixed on him across the table, which really didn’t help as he frantically tried to wade through the ever increasing wave of thoughts and emotions tumbling through his skull.

“Well, if it really is action you need Sam…” Lucifer rose, gliding around the table until he stood over Sam. Sam shuddered into the proximity, looking up expectantly. “Just know that when.. Or if I should say, you ever need me or are ready to accept me into your life, I will be there. I’ll always be there to catch you Sam, just as you’ve done for me.” Lucifer's eyes were full of desperate longing, wishing that Sam would accept him right there and then but he knew that the time wasn’t right. Sam was still, rightfully, confused by the situation and couldn’t possibly think clearly. So Lucifer would wait, he had waited since the beginning of time and would wait until the end if he had to, as long as Sam was safe. 

Lucifers hand slid onto Sams shoulder, “Goodbye Sam.” He gave him one last weak smile and then Sam was blind. The brilliant white light filled the room in an instant, Sam could still feel the strong hand burning on his shoulder but all of his other senses had been overpowered. The light engulfed him, screaming across his skin and pushing the air from his lungs. He gripped onto the table edge, trying to ground himself.  
It only lasted for the briefest moment but it left Sam gasping for air and when the world snapped back into focus he was alone.  
_Completely alone._  
Lucifer was gone, Sam couldn’t even sense his presence anymore. It was just him, sitting alone in a crappy, backwater motel room, just the way it used to be before. Sam felt truly vulnerable for the first time, he felt weak and frightened. Having the angel constantly watching over him had become such an integral part of his life that the thought of him being gone was devastating. He should be relieved but when were things ever that simple in his backwards life. He sat, unmoving as he adjusted to the sensation, still steadying himself on the table top. His skin felt as if it might tear at any slight movement or that his bones could easily crumble under the weight of his clothes. He let out a shaky breath as his brain began to comprehend that this was actually how being human felt.

Then the pain set in. Sam hissed at the sting coming from under his shirt, he peeled back the fabric to reveal a large, inflamed brand on his shoulder. He watched closely as tiny trails of smoke rose off it, dissipating into the air around him. In a matter of seconds it began to settle, smoothing down and healing before his eyes, leaving nothing but the redness of the new mark behind. Dumbfounded by Lucifers parting gift Sam studied the intricate sigil carved into his skin, noticing the enochian script encircling it.

Sam quickly realised that sitting alone, in the dark like some bad romance film wasn’t going to achieve anything. He snatched his phone from the bedside table and dialed for his brother, hoping he would manage to catch him before he drank too much to be useful.

 

* * *

 

“So let me get this straight. You’ve been seeing _Lucifer_ for **months** and you never thought that might be worth mentioning?!”

“Well I haven’t exactly been seeing him. He’s just, kind of, there.” Sam answered, exhausted.  
Dean had been yelling for the last twenty minutes, barely giving Sam half a second to say his part since the “conversation” started. Sam knew that Dean wouldn’t take his confession well, he was prepared for this, or worse. He sat in silence watching his brother frantically pace the room, waiting for him to eventually run himself dry. Which he would, they had been through this countless times, Sam just had to be patient.

“What the hell is wrong with you Sam?!” Dean finally ended, queuing his brother to start talking. Now. 

“Nothing Dean! Look I didn’t believe him at first either but when I told him to leave, he did. So all I know now is that he’s gone.. Except for this..” Sam hesitantly pushed his sleeve up to reveal his new feature.

Dean stared, frozen in place from the shock briefly before crossing the room and yanking his brother's shoulder around sharply.

“What is that? Is that enochian?” Dean demanded.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Well, what the hell does it mean?”

“Hell if I know Dean! You’re the one with the angel under his belt.” Sam pulled his shoulder back, adjusting his shirt to cover the brand again.

“Yeah, right.” Dean turned away, staring up at the ceiling as he began to pray out loud. “Cas, man, we need your help. Looks like our brothers have been having a secret affair behind our backs so, get your winged ass down here, pronto.”

“Sam, are you hurt?” The gravely voice alarmed the brothers. They spun to see Cas standing next to the bed, just behind where Sam was sat.

“No Cas, I’m fine.”

“Yeah, for now he is. You didn’t know about this? My brothers been getting stalked by the Devil and you didn’t happen to pick up on that?!”

“Lucifer must have been suppressing his grace when Sam was near me. He is an archangel Dean, if he doesn’t want to be noticed then he won’t be.” Cas answered defensively.

“It’s okay Cas, look I should have told you guys, I know, but I guess he just didn’t feel like a threat.”

“He’s The Devil Sam, of course he’s a threat! He wants to jump your bones and bring about the end of life as we know it, remember?” 

“No, Dean. I don’t think he wants that anymore.”

“What do you mean?” Castiels head dipped to the side as he gazed down at Sam.

Sam sighed, he could explain this a hundred times over and still not accurately convey how Lucifer had changed, how he could _feel_ that he was different. If he couldn’t tell them, maybe he could show them. “Cas, read my memories, I can’t keep explaining this.”  
Cas nodded, reaching out to place two fingers gently to Sams forehead. The memories began to flood to Cas’ in an instant, all of Sams experiences with Lucifer over the last few months boiled down to a split second transfer.  
Cas’ hand fell back to his side, confusion still colouring his face but now there was a tinge of something else coming through. Understanding.

“Dean, I think Sam might be right.” He said, looking over to the older brother.

Dean threw his hands up, storming across to the fridge, swinging the door open to rip out a fresh cold beer as the conversation continued.

“May I see the brand?” Cas asked cautiously.

Sam nodded, lifting his sleeve once again. “Any idea what it means?”

Cas stood silently as he studied the words circling Sams shoulder. “Yes, uh..” Cas trailed off, a deep crease forming on his brow.

“Care to elaborate Cas?” Dean gestured in frustration as he took another large gulp of the beer.

“I’ve never seen anything like this before..” Cas’ voice lowered as he began to read out the script. “ _Tol gassagen casarma zimi larianu erm teloah.._ ” Glancing between the brothers he translated. “Loosely translated it means: “All angels who enter will be destroyed.” I didn’t know it was even possible but I believe that Lucifer has branded Sam against all forms of angel possession. Even if Sam were to say yes now, any angel who attempted to enter his vessel would be killed.” Castiels eyes settled on Sam. “Even Lucifer himself.”

“Why would he do that? Doesn’t that kind of defeat his whole purpose?” Dean argued.

“Action is all that matters..” Sam muttered to himself.

“What?” Dean voice was full of his frustration at the hypocrisy of the situation. 

“Before he left I told Lucifer that I couldn’t trust his word. That actions were the only thing that mattered. I think this” He waved his hand over his shoulder as he continued, “Is his way of proving to me that he’s serious about not wanting to bring on the apocalypse. About not wanting to use me as a vessel anymore.” The weight of the gesture pressed down on Sam, he was kicking himself for not seeing it sooner. Lucifer had tried to show Sam how much he meant to him and Sam had just swept him aside. Now he’d have to deal with the consequences of that but no matter how bad it felt he couldn’t turn back, he had to do what was best for the greater good.

“Well that’s great man, it really is but when is anything in our life ever that simple? He’s still going to need to take a new vessel sometime.” Dean was still clearly not convinced.

“I dunno Dean, maybe we’re just due for a break.” Sam tried his best to stop his voice from shaking, the last thing he needed right now was another round of the interrogation from his brother.

“Yeah, whatever.” Dean placed his empty beer on the counter with a thud. “Well I say we take this opportunity to get the hell out of Dodge. We can figure out what to do next when we get back to Bobbys.”

“Sure.” Dean was already shoving things into his duffle as Sam muttered out his response. He caught Castiels eye as he stood from the bed, receiving a concerned, acknowledging nod from him before he began to pack his own bag.

 

* * *

 

As the weeks passed Sam found himself tip toeing through his days. Expending most of his energy just remembering how to place one foot in front of the other without cracking apart.  
He spent most of his time tucked away in one of the old, unused, upstairs rooms at Bobbys, busying himself with research he no longer cared about. He could hear his brother and the others coming and going downstairs but even when their laughter chimed up the stairs at night a few beers in, he didn’t go to them. He couldn’t. Nothing felt normal or safe anymore and he wondered if it ever would again.

Dean would occasionally check on him, dropping off food or beer and tossing a sarcastic remark or bad joke his way. Sam suspected there was more Dean wanted to say each time he stood in his doorway but his older brothers inability to face emotions left him settling for just making sure Sam was still alive.

Currently Sam was sitting quietly at his desk, skimming through yet another old lore book he had found. The increasing volume of the muffled conversation coming from downstairs caused him to perk up. He usually tuned out the arguments, he was so used to them that they barely warranted a second thought. This time though he was sure he had just heard someone use his name. The argument intensified, ultimately coming to it’s peak with something along the lines of “goddamnit Bobby, fine!” screaming from Deans mouth, followed by boots loudly stamping their way up the stairs. Sam turned in time to catch Dean crashing to a halt just outside the door frame, determination painted across his features.

“Heya Sammy.”

“Hey.”  
Dean shuffled outside the door, rocking back and forth, looking more like he was trying to convince himself to jump off a cliff than step into his brothers room. “Dean..” Sam prompted.

“Look Sam, I know we’ve been through a lot of crap but we always come out swinging on the other side. So how come the first time something _actually_ good happens to us you go and have a melt down and shut yourself away!” The words tumbled out in a hurried mess.

“I’m not Dean, I guess I’m just, adjusting.” Sam responded honestly. He really hadn’t meant to shut himself off from the world for so long, time had just slipped away from him quicker than he expected.

“Come on man, it’s been weeks! You can’t still be pining over Satan.”

“That’s **not** his name.” Sam snapped back.  
Lucifer had made Sam feel like he belonged, like his existence was important and he craved to have that back. Even if he was eventually able to make room for the loss Sam didn’t think he would ever quite be able to stop defending Lucifer.

“Alright, whatever man, point is you need to get out of this room and we’ve got a hunt.” Dean looked on expectantly.

“Maybe next time.” Sam responded bluntly, returning his gaze to the book in his hands.

“No way, I’m not letting it slide this time Sam. You’re coming with us before you get a cat and start yelling at us to get off your lawn.”

“You’ve gone on plenty of hunts lately and done just fine without me Dean, I’m just not feeling up to it yet.”

“Dude, it’ll be good for you and besides..” Dean trailed off, turning away from the door ready to maneuver his way out of any chick flick moments as quickly as possible. “Look it’s just not the same without you okay? Now do me a solid and get your ass down to the car before I send Bobby up here with his shotgun.” Dean rushed off down the stairs as he called out the last of his argument.

Letting out a deep sigh Sam closed the book and placed it back down on the desk. He wasn’t going to win this fight plus Dean was right, he did need to re-engage with the outside world. That and the fact that he had no doubt he just heard the distinctive sound of a shotgun being cocked pretty much forced his hand.  
One hunt. That was it. How bad could it be?

 

* * *

 

The hunt was simple enough, small nest of vamps just outside Billings, Montana.  
Sam figured if nothing else it was a good distraction. He had managed to keep his mind from drifting back to Lucifer the entire drive, too busy arguing with his brother over the pros and cons of CDs vs. tapes for much else. It was a welcome escape but nonetheless Sam couldn’t wait to be finished with the job so he could get back to Bobbys and ultimately continue the torturous process of convincing himself not to call out and do whatever it took to get Lucifer back.

They had quickly found the nest set up in a shady club tucked away in the backstreets of an industrial estate on the edge of town. The brothers wasted no time ganking the majority of the group and now Sam found himself chasing down one last lone vamp while Dean finished up inside.  
His boots pounded against the pavement as he raced down the side ally, machete in hand, huffing out the nights air. The vamp threw himself through a narrow doorway that led to an emergency stairwell. Sam flew up the six flights of stairs two at a time after him, finally bursting out at the top onto the open concrete rooftop.

The two began to fight, the vamp barely scraping out of the way of Sams blows. Sam had to admit he did feel a little sluggish after being off the job for so long but this was nothing he couldn’t handle. He slashed at the vamp pushing him towards the edge of the roof, just passed a plain, concrete structure, most likely a storage shed.  
Sam lashed out again but this time his opponent was able to grab his arm mid swing. They began to grapple, neither gaining much ground at first but then Sam felt two large hands grab onto his shoulders followed by a sharp, intense pain searing through his neck as the second vamp sunk his teeth into Sams skin.  
Sam yanked himself away, stumbling slightly as he frantically tried to re-orientate himself. The two vamps were back on him in a second and though he swung and ducked in an attempt to regain the upper hand, it was too late. In one swift movement he was shoved back, tumbling over the shin high barrier and out into the open air.

The icy air tore past him as he fell, the top of the building quickly fading into the night. Sam knew what came next, any second there would be the briefest moment of crushing pain followed by blank, dark, emptiness.  
Any normal person would find fear coursing through their veins now but death was not a question in a hunter's life, it was a guarantee.  
Instead, a deep regret washed over Sam, pictures flipped through his mind, Dean, Cas, Bobby, Ellen, Jo but he quickly landed back to the same images as the sadness set in, Lucifer.  
He had wasted so much time denying Lucifer, pushing him away and for what? His brother? The greater good? Would anyone have done the same for him if they were in love?  
_Oh._  
That was it. He had tried so hard to convince himself all this time that it wasn’t true. Even when he knew Lucifer reciprocated those feelings Sam had been too narrow minded to do anything about it.  
Good. Evil. They were just words in the end.  
And words meant nothing.  
Actions were all that mattered and Lucifer had done nothing to justify the rejection he had received.  
Sam imagined now how much Lucifer must have hurt when he had been sent away and he wished more than anything he could take it all back.  
But he was out of time, Lucifer was gone, Sam knew that, he had missed his chance and now there was nothing left he could do but fall.

“Lucifer.” He breathed, “I’m sorry..”

A single tear glid down his cheek as he shut his eyes and tensed against the sudden, sharp pain he expected. 

But it never came.

Sam heard his machete clatter to the ground beside him and exhaled sharply. Instead of the pain and nothingness he expected he felt a firm, familiar pressure surrounding him. His eyes quickly darted open, erratically surveying the world as he tried to understand what had happened.  
As his eyes adjusted he could see a figure leaning over him, cradling him into their broad chest, hovering mere inches away from him. Sams eyes locked on the paniced, striking blues above him sensing the fear emanating from them.  
Without thinking Sams hand traced up into Lucifers ruffled, blond hair, pulling to close the gap between them. Their lips locked together so perfectly, truly as if they were designed for no one but each other. Sam didn’t know how he had gone so long without knowing this feeling. The kiss was slow and passionate, holding its steady pace as they both melted into each others embrace.  
Sam sat up slightly, pushing to deepen the kiss as Lucifers hand slid along his back, moving up over his shoulder before coming to rest over the large wound on Sams neck. Lucifers grace shone out, pure light and sound healing the wound. Sam didn’t break away from the kiss as the light enveloped them, even if he had wanted to he wasn’t sure he could even remember how.  
Eventually Lucifer gently parted their lips, pulling back just far enough to rest his forehead against Sams, breathing out, deep and satisfied.

“I told you I would always be here to catch you Sam Winchester.”

And for the first time, Sam finally accepted the truth.


End file.
